May 11th 2009. Today would have been my little Grace Alana's 5th birthday. I miss her everyday and wish she were here. I don't cry on her birthday like I used to. Instead, I try to imagine what she would look like and what she would love to do. It is very hard to do, and all I can see is how she looked when she was born. Tiny, fragile and perfect. She weighed 7.4 ounces and was 9 and 1/2 inches long. She was and is my daughter and I cling to the hope, faith and belief that I will get my chance to raise her someday. This vase with the orange flowers was given to me by a friend after she died. Every year on Grace's birthday, we get some orange flowers and put them in this vase. We celebrate with a cake and sing Happy Birthday. I don't know what else to do, so that is what we do. I wish I could have known her and I wish for everyone to know and acknowledge her existence. She is my third child and I miss her terribly.
The leaf with the teardrop reflects both intense suffering of loss and hope for the future. Though fallen, the leaf maintains its vitality symbolizing hope. It cradles the teardrop with its upturned edges creating a sense of comfort. As seasons change, so do feelings. Just as there is winter and spring, there is sadness and hope.
I love you my Grace Alana...
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6 comments:
Happy Birthday Grace, can't wait meet you and see your mommy cuddle you again.
Happy Birthday to your perfect little Grace. I am so grateful for the gospel, to know that our families are forever. Thank you for so beautifully reminding me of the wonderful gift that our eternal families are.
Your family is so beautiful. How are you guys doing??? We miss you. I'm in real need of getting my butt kicked at boot camp right now. How's UT? If you guys are ever out this way in Portland, be sure to let us know. You guys are so amazingly strong. You are such a great example of how people can survive such a difficult trial, most of us couldn't even imagine going through it. You are truly inspiring.
I thought about your experince today, then realized you posted this on your blog. My heart still aches for you, you are so amazing. I still wish that we were there to help you through this. I am so thankful for the gospel, to have the knowledge that you will see her again is wonderful. I know that she is beautiful just like all your kids. Birthday wishes coming your way for Grace!! :)
Oh Anna Lee...so many people are thinking about you and your baby. It's a nice tradition you have now, and you have lots to look forward to. thanks for sharing this post.
I don't think I knew what to do or say when you lost Grace. And I am still sorry about that. It makes me cry just to think about what you have gone through! You will have your beautiful Grace forever and that is a great blessing to know that! Love you ALL!
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